Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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