I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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