next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
