i don't like sucking hair
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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