Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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