he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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