Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
