And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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