I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize