People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.