I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!