so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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