True but thats because hes a fetus.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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