Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
