Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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