fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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