Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
