I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
