found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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