You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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