Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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