She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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