I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
