you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
