3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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