yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
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Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
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Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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