I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize