So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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