Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
