ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
