So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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