I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
