Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
