i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
