first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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