If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
