let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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