Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I understand Curling. That high.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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