Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
