Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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