how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
