There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
