I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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