i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
