i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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