Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize