Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I want a musical about memes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
