Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
