I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
