tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize