Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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