all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
