I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
