I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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