her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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