I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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