Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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