Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
