we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
