Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
