people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do herpes really smell.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize