i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
