My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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