Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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