we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My vagina just recognized that song.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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