I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
