my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
